Struggle and Success Saturday: Trapped by Poison?

Earlier this week I wrote a nice long, cathartic post on the subject of me feeling like I was trapped by poison, (i.e. mercury and fluoride). It’s a little too long-winded and I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time, so this shorter post will do.

I was actually starting to feel depressed over the mercury and fluoride issue I’ve been learning about lately. They both have the potential to damage kidneys and since I’m working hard to heal my kidneys, that’s a pretty big deal for me. It was very disconcerting to learn more about how poisonous these two substances are (two of the most toxic on the planet, apparently), and that I am being exposed to them every single day and it’s no easy task getting away from them. It’s like being locked in a prison cell and being forced to breathe a poisonous gas that doesn’t kill you right away but you know could cause you long-term health problems. All you want to do is get away from it.

It didn’t help that I read that a woman should wait six months or longer after amalgam filling removal before getting pregnant. We wanted to try soon; had been postponing it for a year already due to my health. I know that God has been leading me on this path toward better health, and I wondered why he didn’t help me realize this sooner. Maybe he was trying, and I wasn’t paying attention (after all, I learned about the book Cure Tooth Decay long before I bought it, and I bought it long before I actually started reading it). Or maybe I needed to go through the hard work of trying to heal myself with diet first, and learn the skills that are important for rebuilding health. I don’t know, but I guess it doesn’t really matter.

I prayed and prayed and prayed to know whether I should have my fillings removed now (and postpone pregnancy again) or just go through with our plans to get pregnant. Throughout my foggy period of mild depression, no clear answer came to me. I could only think of two things: to look for a dentist (because it doesn’t hurt to look), and to strengthen my spirit and my relationship with my Heavenly Father. One day I cried to him–literally, on the bathroom floor, crying–and I can’t tell you how wonderful it was because I had felt that my relationship with him had gotten a little repetitive, and this incident really helped me feel his love for me and helped me have a deep and meaningful conversation with him. You’ve gotta have those once in a while, you know?

So I did those two things, and you know what? Clarity came. No, not that I know for sure I should have my fillings removed (although I think so), but that I should go forward with this plan unless something tells me to stop. Honestly, I think I might be too scared to see further than the next step. Having my fillings replaced scares me. But I feel like I’ve found a way out. It’s like in the movie Snow White and the Huntsman (I just watched it), when Snow White finds a huge nail sticking in the wall just outside her prison window. She suddenly perks up with a plan of action to get out of her cell. That’s kind of how I feel right now.

Same deal with fluoride. I felt trapped by it because it’s in all our drinking water, and it’s probably even in the food we eat, since that food was probably watered, at least in part, by fluoridated water. Nice, right? I didn’t even know what kind of water filter to get or how expensive it would be, but my friend Cassie helped me out with that by recommending a Berkey filter. So now I have a plan for reducing our fluoride exposure, too.

Somehow I can’t imagine drinking fluoridated water being as bad as having eight amalgam fillings, but apparently it’s pretty toxic. I had been feeling overwhelmed by it, but feeling overwhelmed does not help me get things done. So I’ve temporarily put fluoride in the backseat of my mind and I’m just focusing on the fillings for now. The good news is that there are options, and I am feeling much better about it.

I’m feeling better about postponing pregnancy again, too. Once my brain cleared up, I could see that six more months isn’t really a big deal. Much better to be going into pregnancy a healthier woman and make a healthier baby. Totally worth it. Yes, Little Boy will be that much farther apart in age from baby, but oh, well. Maybe it’s meant to be that way. If I didn’t stress so easily, I might consider adopting a toddler just to fill in the gap, haha. No, I’m not going to do that…

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Carrie says:

    I know those feelings very well, Lisa. Postponing having children is a very tough thing especially when you want them so desperately. Keep on, keepin’ on.

    1. Lisa C says:

      Thanks, Carrie.

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